Monday, November 29, 2010


I can't believe it! My second beta nearly tripled. It went from 412 to 1222. I am so happy. I didn't get the results until 8 pm. I think Quest sent them to the wrong place. I was really starting to sweat it. Dr Surrey called to congratulate me on my first beta. My nurse was also awesome and worked really hard calling the lab to get me my results tonight. I really appreciate her extra effort.

In other good news my progesterone went up to 6.9 and my estradiol was 2032. Now I get to schedule at ultrasound. I seriously can't believe this is happening. Praying for no more bleeding or scary things for awhile.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Spotting and Beta News

So I talked to a nurse and they think the bleeding is just my cervix being irritated by the inserts. I feel a little bit better about that plus it stopped for now. My estradiol and progesterone were not back yet, so I will have to get the results tomorrow. I am staying on 4 endometrium today and they don't seem alarmed by my 5.2.

In beta news, I was shocked to hear it was 412! Hoping and praying it doubles appropriately on Monday. I laughed when running guy said remember this is like a marathon and we need to take it mile by mile. I guess that's why we are married because we think alike on that stuff.

Houston We Have A Progesterone Problem

For the past few days I have been feeling happy and hopeful. Each day I have taken the good old HPT and the line is gradually darker. Then disaster struck. I was getting ready to go into the Radio City Rockettes show with my family (which was fabulous) when I got a call from CCRM saying my progesterone was too low. I had it tested a day before my beta because I was having trouble getting stat results so my nurse and I decided I should do it a day early. Anyway it was 5.2. She said they like it above 6 so I need to take 4 Endometrium. Ok I thought no big deal.

As I am putting in the 4th and final endometrium for the night I notice TMI bright red blood on the insert. Not good! So then I begin researching on the internet (not a good thing to do) and find that AF shows up when progesterone is between 2-4. So now I am really worried because I am almost at 4!

I woke up this morning and more of the same on the insert and when I went to the bathroom. It seems to have changed colors now to TMI brownish. I don't think this is a good sign.

I did my beta, progesterone and estradiol this morning and am awaiting the results. I don't really know what to think. I've called the emergency line and am waiting for a call back to see if I can also take progesterone in oil. I have some handy in the house. It's so frustrating because things were going so well and then this! I am expecting the worse, but I am hoping for the best.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Just Pee and See

So I couldn't resist. I had to do it. The thought of going to bed knowing that I was going to wake up in the morning and POAS was just too much. I don't think I would have slept that great. So I decided to just pee and see. What did I see? I saw two lines starring at me!

Now I am cautiously optimistic. I know that this could still turn out badly, but at least I am hopeful. At least I see two lines. I'm now praying for a strong beta on Saturday. Thank you girls for all of your support and well wishes. I feel like I have passed one hurdle, but now I have a bunch more to clear in this race.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Choose Your Own Adventure

I used to love the Choose Your Own Adventure books. You would get to pick which way you wanted the story to go and from there the story would unfold. If you didn't like the way the story was going, you could back up and choose a different path to see if it turned out any better. What's my adventure? Well Thanksgiving morning with be 7dp6dt, and I will POAS. There are two possibilities. I know which adventure I would choose and am hoping my body picks the same one!

Monday, November 22, 2010

I'm Pregnant, I'm Pregnant Not

Remember as young girls we would take the petals off a flower and say he loves me he loves me not. The last petal was always the correct answer. That's kind of how I feel during this waiting period. I'm pregnant, I'm pregnant not. It could go either way. From a logical perspective it seems almost impossible to fail. The facts are that my uterine lining was somewhere between 8 and 10, I transfered two genetically normal embryos, they were high grades a 6aa and a 5ab, one was hatched and the other was hatching, my tsh is at an all time low of 1, and I was super relaxed and even rode in a wheelchair at the airport (which I highly recommend - so much less stressful than walking all over the Denver airport). As we know logic doesn't always play a part in this infertility journey. What should happen doesn't always happen. I have never had a bad cycle. Doctors always say that it will work and then it never does, so from that perspective I question could this work.

I will have a preliminary answer soon enough. On Thursday, I will POAS and then Saturday is my beta. Hoping that the answer is pregnant rather than pregnant not.

Friday, November 19, 2010


Perfect is really the only word that I can use to describe how yesterday's transfer went. There was a little confusion with the acupuncture scheduling but it got worked out. The acupuncture and Valium combo made for my most relaxing transfer ever.

I was amazed at the contraption that the embryos were transported in. It was essentially an incubator. The care and pride they took when handling the embryos was beyond expectation. I had to chuckle when I saw it because at home essentially the embryology just carried the embryos in the room in the tube and handed them to the doctor.

The embryos were lovely; I am a little biased though. One was hatched and one was hatching. They had fully survived the thaw and were expanding. Dr Surrey said that they couldn't have looked any better. Now I just need them to stick. I will poas on Thanksgiving and then my beta is two days later.

I have to say that I feel like everything was done perfectly and if this doesn't work, I'm not sure it ever will. I mean a 6aa and a 5ab that responded wonderfully to a thaw. It doesn't seem to get more ideal. Most importantly they are genetically normal. Stick litle embryos, stick!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

My Quest for Stat Blood Work

You would think that I live in a small tiny village somewhere - where there isn't a hospital or a lab near by. I mean how hard is it to run progesterone stat? Apparently, too difficult for Quest. Quest is no longer running progesterone stat. I am 100% sure that they have run it for me before, but I guess it's their new policy. I argued with them and told them they had run it before and it should work. I even asked them if they could just put it in that little red bag and run it stat just this once. Finally, a worker said that it would be run stat and my doctor's office would get results a today. I half believed her.

Anyway it turns out that Quest called CCRM and said that they won't have the results tomorrow. CCRM said no big deal. I was hoping I wouldn't have to scramble to another lab and get a draw done tomorrow before I leave.

So tomorrow I am off. I haven't found out when my transfer time is, but I should hear from them in a few hours. I can't believe it is so soon!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Traveling to Colorado with Dad

On Wednesday my dad and I leave for Colorado for my FET. Yes, I said my dad - not my husband or mom. Since my FET got rearranged Dad was the one with the week off this week, so it made the most since for him to come. My husband just got a promotion at work and it would be stressful for him to leave, and my mom has a big Thanksgiving breakfast in her classroom. I'm actually looking forward to spending time with my dad. I am an only child, and we have always been very close. He is wonderful with kids, and I am honestly hoping this works for my parents almost as much as I am hoping it works for my husband and me. I am my parents only hope for a grandchild -not that they have ever said that or ever applied pressure. They have been wonderfully supportive and understanding. I just feel like if two people deserve to be grandparents it's my parents.

Instead of dropping me off for school like when I was a kid, my dad will be dropping me off at CCRM for FET. Is there a parent pick up line for him to wait in? LOL!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

How an Uncooperative Uterine Lining Worked Out for the Best

Sure I had to change plane tickets and pay change fees. Yes, I had to cancel my hotel and now I have a different travel companion. All and all though I am really happy that my transfer got changed. This week has been very hectic at work. If things had gone according to plan, I would be at the airport right now. I'm sure I would have felt stressed because of my week. Instead I am at home typing this blog. And I have to say, I am glad to be here. Next week is not at all hectic, and I will be in a much more peaceful state. I think it will be better.

So today my lining was 8.3 and triple stripe. I've had better, but good enough for CCRM so I'll go with it. On Saturday I will start 5 trillion medications including the following: prometrium, tetracycline, medrol, prednisone, pepcid, and claritin. I will continue the Vivelle patches (4 a day), baby asprin and the estrace. It seems like a bunch to me. I'm not a fan of the estrace. It's so strange that a tablet is inserted vaginally. Oh well, I know there is a purpose for all of it.

So next Wednesday at this time, I will be in the air heading to Colorado. I can't believe it's almost time!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

A Tale of a Day with a Disappointing Uterus

If you can't tell by the title of this post, my uterus and I have had a falling out once again. She is one disappointing body part! My friend said maybe I should think of a name for her, but right now none of them are very nice so I'll postpone the naming process. So first thing yesterday I had my blood draw and ultrasound. I am waiting for the measurement and it comes in at a disappointing 7.1. The RE says things look good and it looks like I will be ready in two more days. I'm thinking I need it to be ready today not two stinkin days from now. So I frantically email CCRM telling them of my news and asking them what it means for my cycle. Of course I am on eastern time, so I usually have to wait until about 10:00 or 11:00 to get a response back. The response I get is we have to wait for your e2 but your ultrasound report is already here. So at 3:00 I send another email making sure they had received the blood work results because the local RE office was closing early and was having the lab send the results directly to CCRM. They respond back that yes they have received my results but had to talk to the doctor.

So it's now 6:30 and I have driven downtown to meet my husband for a nice quiet dinner. I'm kind of in an irritated mood at this point because I see the writing on the wall. What's going on downtown you might ask: a big noisy festival. The restaurants are packed. This would have been something I would love, but I am in a cranky mood and I don't want the noise, people, art, etc. I just want my stupid phone call from CCRM announcing my fate.

So at 7:00 as we have gone from restaurant to restaurant finding out they are packed and have long waits I get the phone call. My cycle is being delayed by a week. My e2 was 620 but the lining was not acceptable. So I have to have another ultrasound on Wednesday and if things look good, I will go the following week on Wednesday or Thursday. The nurse was very nice. I told here that I wasn't surprised. During my mock cycle my lining was 8 and I had said don't I need to be on additional medication because that seems low. Oh no I was told. 8 is perfect. I'm still puzzled as to why I did the mock cycle because it didn't really seem to teach us anything because we ran the exact same play. Oh well.

So now its around 7:45 and I still haven't had dinner. I am now at CVS trying to get my estrace filled to plump up the lining. Well the pharmacist is clearly confused as to why I am taking this pill vaginally. I try to explain to her why, but she needs to talk to CCRM. So I have to call the answering service and have them call the back line. Finally, she understands and starts to fill the prescription, but then she realizes that she only has generic. I know that CCRM is strict on branded, so I am hesitant as to what to do. I have her call another pharmacy that is open 24 hours and secure it there.

It's now 8:30 and I am home. I decide to make myself some noodles for dinner because I still haven't eaten. Running guy stopped by a drive thru on the way home due to our downtown fiasco and I was being difficult and didn't want anything from a drive thru hence why I am eating noodles.

Now it's 9:30 and running guy and I are heading to the 24 hour pharmacy. On the way I tell my mom that we are officially no longer going to Denver, so she can cancel the substitute she had lined up for her class. We finally get home around 10:15 and I take my estrace and go to bed.

The good news in this story is that I still get to go as long as things look good on Wednesday. Also, we are getting my lining at a prime measurement which I know is very important. The bad news is changing my plane tickets is not cheap and airfares are more expensive the following week and my mom can't come with me the following week.

Today is a new day though. I am not going to let my circumstances effect my mood. I am going to enjoy my Saturday and have a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Dear Uterus,

Hello! I hope you are doing fine. I just wanted to send you a quick note to ask you to please not fail me tomorrow at the lining check. I want you to be triple stripe and at least an 8. So far you haven't been a very good friend to me. The least you can do for me tomorrow is to be the correct thickness. You know that I have purchased my plane tickets already and that your lack of cooperation will turn my plans upside down.

In addition, it would be fantastic if you could not be so hostile once my embryos are placed inside of you. I learned the term hostile uterus from Grey's Anatomy and decided that you are indeed hostile. I'm not sure what you have been doing in the past, but it needs to change. I have the feeling that I am putting perfectly wonderful embryos inside of you, and you are just not doing what you are supposed to do and it's really getting on my last nerve.

Sorry that I had to be so direct, but I need different results. Looking forward to a wonderful report from you tomorrow morning.



Monday, November 1, 2010

Being Pollyanna

Remember that good old Disney movie Pollyanna about the little girl who was always positive and bringing sunshine to negative situations. Even when she was severely injured (I think she fell off a house or something), she remained positive and hopeful. I think that I started out this process as Pollyanna, but after ivf failure #1 I became increasingly more pessimistic. It just seemed like my odds were against me and nothing was working. It's also easier to be Negative Nancy than Pollyanna because then you don't have your hopes up as much.

I am making a concerted effort this go round to be more Pollyanna like. It isn't going to do me any good to be negative. It's really a hard balance though. I don't feel like I can totally buy into things because then I will be beyond disappointed if it doesn't work. At the same time, I need to be positive in order to create a more welcoming environment for the embryos.

So for these next three weeks, I am going to channel Pollyanna. I'm sure I'm going to fall off the Pollyanna wagon along the way, but at least it's better than being Negative Nancy.