When I was training for the Disney Marathon, the thought what if I don't qualify for the Boston Marathon often popped in my head. The thought of training again and trying again was too much to handle. I hate the twenty mile run in the marathon training program, and if I had to do it one more time I would scream. Don't get me wrong, I like running but I usually get a little tired of it at some point during the training. If I would have finished Disney and not qualified, I would have been so disappointed. It wouldn't have mattered that I had finished a marathon; it would have only mattered that I didn't meet my goal.
The "what ifs" have been playing in my head these past few weeks since I have been back from Colorado. What if there aren't any genetically normal? What if there are genetically normal ones and it still doesn't work? What if my insurance changes next year and I don't have fertility coverage anymore? What if I never become a mom? What if this doesn't turn out like I want it to?
The "what ifs" have been so tough lately. I think it's because it is getting closer to the real deal. I should know in another week or two how may are genetically normal. I go back to Colorado November 11 for transfer (assuming there are some normals - surely there are out of 11; I hope). But what if.........
Even though I'm reading this two days late, I can completely relate today to what you're going through. This is all such a crapshoot, but surely with 11 you'll be fine. I can't wait until you find out the results so you can breathe a small sigh of relief!
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